I think I bought this about 10 years ago at Gone Bazaar. Pretty sure I paid around $15 for it and no shock, it didn't work. The packaging wasn't even clear on what it was he was meant to do but I gathered it was meant to be noise related. According to the internet - where he sells from $16-$40 - his eyes are meant to light up and there are sounds. No clarification on what the sounds are, just sounds. Super informative.

Either way, he didn't do anything. I never bothered taking it back to the shop because I figured this is probably one of those 'you get what you paid for' moments. It didn't even have a good paint job. It really looks like crap for what online stores are charging for him. 

So last year I decided I'd try paint pouring him. I couldn't possibly make him look worse and you can only paint so many canvases before getting bored. I don't know how people do it professionally. Prep isn't that involved and 30 seconds later you've got a painting. I spend more time trying to wash the paint off me than anything else. 

STEP 1

Straight up you can see just how bad it's original paint work is and the saddest part of it all is that somebody is paid to do this. I can't get a job interview to hand sandwiches across a counter, but someone out there in the world is being paid to deliver this kind of quality.  My self-esteem is fine. Really. 

I spent about half the day trying to find my screwdriver because putting it in my toolbox is too much like hard work. I need to make my life as difficult as possible at all times. I can guarantee that right now, it's nowhere logical. Why does everything that uses batteries even need to be screwed into place anyway? Who out there is licking batteries?

Eventually he's open and I can see inside his head. Unlike Freddy's Dead, there wasn't a lot going on inside his skull. A couple loose wires attached to his eyeballs that were linked to a tiny chipboard thing.

The wiring inside I just cut out and then I spent about an hour trying to pop his eyes out.

STEP 2

Paint Pouring time. I used Global Colour High Flow Acrylic paints in 'Dawn' and 'Metallic Fuschia'. It's that or I used 'Naphthol Red'. They're the only red/pinks I have. The first attempt I guess I made it a bit too runny because you could still see quite a bit of yellow so I waited for it to dry and gave it a 2nd coat. That one worked much better, you could still see some yellow but it didn't bother me. Freddy is meant to look like a pizza so a bit of "skin" showing wasn't all bad. The paint pour I thought looked cool, really gives that "melted" look. 

STEP 3

He needed a bit more definition so I filled in the scar marks with Art Culture acrylic paint in 'Cool Red'. The final step was to clean up his teeth (I used old house paint to paint them an off-white) and pop his eyes back in.