Movie Review: Halloween Kills

January 14, 2022  •  Leave a Comment

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This movie is so fucking dumb. I watched the extended cut last night and wow, those last 10 seconds really made no difference at all.

Some thoughts:

  1. We know it's been 40 years since Halloween, we don't need reminding every 5 minutes.
  2. "Evil Dies Tonight" could be a drinking game but you'd probably put yourself in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.
  3. That entire hospital riot scene is ridiculous. Tommy asking "He's always worn a mask, Leigh. How do you know it's not him?" Well Tommy, unless you're visually impaired, this guy is about 4 foot tall and fat. 
  4. The town comes together to kill Michael and some woman brings her IRON? What you gonna do, iron his jumpsuit for him when they're done? This is about as intelligent as that chick who brought a SLEIGH to a fight in Black Christmas. 
  5. Speaking of the fight scene, not one person thought to themselves "I should bring an axe and decapitate this mother fucker". Nah they take golf clubs. They all deserve to die.
  6. Lori just casually strolls out of the hospital after major stomach surgery. Anyone who has had stomach surgery knows how bullshit this is. It's like filmmakers aren't even trying anymore. It's just an insult to our intelligence.

I can't wait for Halloween Ends. Such a creative title but I hope Michael wipes out the entire town.

 


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