WRATH

- Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury.

From the books I read I came up with two conclusions: that there is a "right wrath" and a "wrong wrath". The "right" being what's in the bible with an eye for an eye and other wonderful bible tales. The "wrong" wrath has internal where you get enjoyment from having violent thoughts (If you suffer from schadenfreude you're going to hell and I'll see you there) and external which covers murder or backbiting. I'm not really sure talking shit about someone should be in the same box as killing someone but I didn't make the rules. The main issue (other than that) is the sin of Wrath is not about the feelings of anger but the intention to destroy.

SHOOT 1

This was probably the first concept I came up with completely on my own - School Shooting. One of the "studios" at tafe was quite literally a classroom which made doing this shoot even easier. I got a couple of people in my class to come in with polo shirts to be students and my younger brother who was in Year 12 at the time got some of his mates in with their school shirts. Another classmate was the 'teacher' (it didn't occur to me to actually ASK a lecturer to do that). My sketch idea was to have students cowering in a corner, the teacher slumped and dead on the floor with a gun coming into view as if you are the shooter. This was the first time ever where I had a plan of how I wanted it to look and how to shoot it and do the lighting. This was shot on Ilford Hp5 film and the final image is a comination of two photos. One was focussed on the gun and the other was focussed on the people in the corner of the room with a spotlight effect. 

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I didn't know anything about fake blood products back then so I used tomato sauce which I worked out fast wasn't going to work, it slid straight off the white board! So part of the editing involved trying to find blood splatter photoshop brushes I could use. 

While I was editing I had a lecturer comment on how dark it was (I didn't twig right away that he meant the content, not the lack of light) and someone else asked if I had a point or if I was just being sensationalist with it. I most definitely had a point. A recent newspaper had an article about a school shooting where the gunman was bullied. They tried to blame violent movies for his violent actions. 7 years earlier we had the Columbine Shooting where people tried to blame Marilyn Manson even though they didn't listen to his music, and films featuring trench coats were being treated like the enemy. Nobody seemed to want to look at why these two boys decided to shoot up their school and nobody wanted to admit that maybe their child was an asshole who bullied them into doing this. I could understand why they would do this because in high school I wanted to do this myself.

In high school I was bullied to the point of self harming and wanting to kill myself. I stupidly had chosen every class with the word "art" in it for Year 11 and 12 without knowing what they were and I was then stuck seeing the same guys in every single class and two classes in particular were when the bullying was the worst. Two of them were the culprits and they targeted me because of my back and would chant a word I still don't like to hear or say because I'm instantly taken back to that moment, the others would just stand there and snicker. Nobody ever once stood up for me and told them to shut up. My depression was severe and nobody had any idea. The irony here was we actually had a class on suicide with some guy telling us the ones who stand around yelling they're going to kill themselves won't, it's the ones you don't see coming that do. My stepdad worked with teenagers from troubled homes and some who lived on the streets and even he was oblivious to my changes in personality and actions. I was wearing super baggy clothes and eating one meal a day. One morning I was sent to the school councellor for something I had done and he told me he wouldn't call my parents. Well he lied so when I got home I got yelled at for just trying to get out of class. I don't know what he told them but they didn't believe it. Needless to say it was a long time before I would trust a councellor or psychologist to talk about my problems but every day in Industrial Arts when the taunts started I would sit there thinking about how I could kill them and being in a class filled with power tools and air hoses that can causes air bubbles in your blood stream if it hits your skin there was plenty to fantasise about. I wanted them dead for what they were putting me through. If my parents had owned a gun I can guarantee you I would have done the same thing as these boys. From memory this lasted about a year and half before it finally got the teachers attention but I could be wrong, I know it went for a long time. Our Tech Drawing class the teacher would always leave which made it easy for them. One particular day I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of class. When the teacher finally returned he asked where I'd gone. It was then lunchtime and one of the boys told him what was happening once everyone had left. I was taken to see the vice principal who told me if it happens again to tell them and they'd be expelled. I didn't really know how to deal with this then the next time we had Industrial Arts the teacher pulled one of them outside and just screamed at him for what he did to me. It was incredibly awkward because I'm sitting there wondering what's going to happen to me after this, like how much worse is the bullying going to get the next time the teacher leaves the room, but all of the other boys in the class were laughing at him being told off. The same boys who thought it was funny I was being taunted by him. Leaving high school was the best thing that ever happened to me but the depression and anxiety was in full swing from that moment and got worse over the next 3 years that I ended up sociophobic and couldn't leave the house. It would take me years to get past this but I still don't trust males even now. 

It's sad that school bullying is still rampant today and on a much larger scale thanks to social media. I was lucky that after school I could go home and pretend they didn't exist for the next 12+ hours. Kids don't have that now. They go home and they have to deal with what happens on Facebook, instagram, twitter. Children as young as 10 years are killing themselves from bullying and it breaks my heart to read about it in the news. School shootings are still happening and the focus is still on how they are a monster and not WHY they did it. Anyone dying is tragic but nobody seems to care on what or why these people are snapping. It's easier to blame a movie or a video game than acknowledge the real issue. THIS is why I made this photo. 

SHOOT 2

In hindsight this was a dumb idea for my "light side of sinning" because murder is murder no matter how you look at it but compared to the one above in this series she's not killing anyone, she's just wishing harm upon him for disrespecting her. I should have just shot someone egging a house or keying a car for stealing their parking space (actually that's a good idea..).. I just thought the cliche of finding "lipstick on your collar" with a pissed off housewife was too good not to photograph. My first attempt was crap to be blunt. It was in my own kitchen which was far from pleasing to the eye and would make anyone cry. I spent a year without a stove so I probably did once or twice. This was when I first decided I hated wigs (I'd bought it for the shoot) and I made cookies to represent what she'd like to do to her husband so one is missing an arm, the next a leg, the next his head. 

housewife copyhousewife copy The 2nd attempt I did it at my friends house who had a bright yellow retro kitchen. I always have a 'go large or go home' mentality when I'm redoing a shoot, like why bother if you're going to keep it identical? I used a different model (another classmate) who had vibrant red hair at the time, bought a polka dot dress I found at an op-shop that I altered into a halter neck, made an apron from some scrap material (it wasn't perfect but it only had to last the shoot), found some jewellery and made a "poison" box. We did it as a story because I was going to make this a triptych so we started off with the housewife finding the evidence of her cheating husband in the wash, crying in the kitchen with the shirt and a rolling pin (which is a perfectly natural response by the way) and baking with the poison. I oversaturated the colours while editing and gave them all a yellowish tone because I felt that meant retro. Not sure why since old photos are all orange, that's just how my brain thought back then.

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This shoot didn't come with a fancy explanation like the first photograph for the set because I didn't have any deep connection to this story. I just want to do something that was bold, colourful and a bit silly.